Every civilisation mints its own metaphors from its own history. Mare Non Nostrum tells the story of an alternate Mediterranean — Carthage wins the First Punic War and survives to share the sea with Rome — and these are the phrases that story left in the language, reached for by people generations downstream. Who reaches for a phrase, and from which side of the sea, is part of what it means. Here are eight of the sixteen; the rest, with their origins and the fuller range of voices, are in the book’s appendix.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua ut enim ad minim veniam. Never dismiss the minor player.
Carthaginian. Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium totam rem aperiam.
“You’re sending one cart?” “One cart with the right driver. Eleven ships.”
“She’s one woman with a writing desk.” “Eleven ships.” — Two clerks, on a woman who changed the course of an institution.
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.” “Consectetur adipiscing elit, sed tempor.”
“Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation.” — Ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip.
“Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit.” “In voluptate velit esse cillum.”
— and its origin, in the book’s appendix.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. The painting is real. The victory it depicts is incomplete.
Carthaginian, but it belongs to the people who do the unpaintable work — dockworkers, clerks, bakers, midwives. Travels as a matched pair with Unpaintable.
“He brings the bread to the table. She wakes at three to bake it. The children thank him.” “Carthalo’s painting.”
A midwife, overhearing the father being congratulated: “Carthalo’s painting.”
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur.” “Adipiscing elit sed do eiusmod.”
“Tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore.” — Magna aliqua ut enim ad minim.
“Quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris.” “Nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo.”
“Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate.” “Velit esse cillum dolore.”
“Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident.” — Sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt.
— and its origin, in the book’s appendix.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua ut enim ad minim veniam quis nostrud. A term of quiet respect: the thing that actually mattered, done by the person nobody will thank.
Carthaginian, but it belongs to the people who do the unpaintable work — dockworkers, clerks, bakers, midwives. The companion of Carthalo’s painting.
“Boy, we’re unpaintable, aren’t we.” — Dockworkers finishing a hull repair at midnight, in time for the morning tide.
“Every crew that sails from this harbour eats my bread the morning they leave. Nobody’s ever put a baker on a temple wall. Unpaintable.” — A woman selling bread near the shipyards.
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur adipiscing.” “Elit sed do eiusmod tempor.”
“Incididunt ut labore et dolore magna.” — Aliqua ut enim ad minim veniam.
— and its origin, in the book’s appendix.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua, ut enim ad minim veniam quis nostrud exercitation. The disaster that happened once, decades ago, and stops you ever trying again.
Roman and Carthaginian both, in Latin and Punic. Trauma in one mouth; in the other, the confidence of the side that lit the fire.
“He won’t hire apprentices.” “Why not?” “Had one steal from him, twenty years ago. Brundisium burned.”
“You’re lending to a man whose only asset is a lease. The landlord sneezes and your money’s gone. Brundisium burned.”
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.” “Consectetur adipiscing elit sed tempor.”
“Ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.” — Ut enim ad minim veniam quis.
“Nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi.” “Ut aliquip ex ea commodo.”
“Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit.” — In voluptate velit esse cillum.
— and its origin, in the book’s appendix.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco. Said in any other language, the phrase loses everything.
Roman in origin, always in Latin. Three valences: sacred to one faction, dismissive to another, and — in Carthaginian mouths — a taunt.
“She’s said no three times.” “Mare nostrum.” — His friends look at each other.
“He keeps calling it ‘the Iberian question.’” “It hasn’t been a question for sixty years.” “Mare nostrum — he’ll die calling it a question.”
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur.” “Adipiscing elit sed do eiusmod tempor.”
“Incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.” — Ut enim ad minim veniam.
“Quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi.” “Ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.”
“Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit.” — In voluptate velit esse cillum dolore.
“Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident.” “Sunt in culpa qui officia.”
“Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas.” — Sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit.
“Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem.” “Ipsum quia dolor sit amet.”
“Ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur.” — Quis autem vel eum iure.
“At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio.” “Dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis.”
— and its origin, in the book’s appendix.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua ut enim ad minim veniam. Strictly speaking, a reply was provided — so slow, and so empty when it finally came, as to be indistinguishable from silence.
A complaint from the periphery — the colonies and the interior. Carthage itself never says it.
“I told the landlord about the roof six times.” “And?” “Petition to Carthage.” “Still leaking?” “In new places.”
“He proposed to her three times.” “What did she say?” “Petition to Carthage.”
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur.” “Adipiscing elit sed eiusmod.”
“Tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore.” — Magna aliqua ut enim ad minim.
“Quis nostrud exercitation ullamco.” “Laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea.”
“Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit.” “In voluptate velit esse cillum.”
— and its origin, in the book’s appendix.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua quis nostrud exercitation ullamco. The bureaucratic shrug that formalises what everyone already knows.
Carthaginian to the core. Romans find the logic alien — their law wants everything written down. The wider Punic world takes to it easily.
“She’s been running the shop since her father got sick.” “That was two years ago.” “Strike the ‘Acting’ — it’s her shop.”
“He’s been ‘consulting’ for the same family for a decade.” “Strike the ‘Acting.’ He works for them.” “He prefers ‘consulting.’” “I’m sure he does.”
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.” “Consectetur adipiscing elit sed.”
“Do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore.” — Et dolore magna aliqua.
“Ut enim ad minim veniam quis nostrud.” “Exercitation ullamco laboris.”
— and its origin, in the book’s appendix.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris. Overwhelmingly tedious. Collectively undeniable.
Lorem ipsum dolor. Sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna. The latest of all these phrases to be coined.
“Any single quarter’s accounts look fine. Put five years side by side and the pattern is obvious.” “Forty-three pieces of wood. Someone should have looked sooner.”
“The wall’s been cracking since we moved in. A little more each winter. My husband says it’s nothing. I say forty-three pieces of wood and we should move.”
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur adipiscing elit.” — Sed do eiusmod tempor.
— and its origin, in the book’s appendix.
Eight more entered the language. They live in the book.